It  used  to be so huge to her. It use to fill the room and consume her thoughts.  But now it was almost gone.  She could barely see it and definitely could not touch it.  How could something that big shrink so small?  Was it sick? Was it dying? Who had broken it? Could it be fixed? Has anyone called the hospital yet?  We are people right? We don’t watch something die and fail to get involved! Is that who we have become, so use to death, so common with disease, so comfortable with pain that we forget to respond with passion any more?

It’s a devastating syndrome; a dream-killer for certain, TLF seems to be air borne and few seem to care.  Do you?

MizJAI…aggressively overcoming the Too Little Faith (TLF) syndrome, dreaming BIG and taking the whole of my personality and who I am to trust God for that dream, guzzling down the only lasting cure for this disease: the Word which says “I Always Win,” and so can you. Find out how in the next post…

I used to imagine myself rounding the track, handing the baton off to Flo Jo (Florence Griffith-Joyner) herself and catching my breathe while she ran the last leg of the 4 by 400 in the Olympics. In my memory I couldn’t hear the sound of the crowd over my own excitement of just being on this team and winning the gold medal (of course). It was a beautiful reoccurring desire BUT I never did the work that it takes to make the Olympic team.

In fact, all of you would think it crazy if I were to become jealous and to complain about this seasons Olympic hopefuls. They work for it, I don’t, so there’s no reason to hate (right?). I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely lazy. After all I ran track in high school and in college, so I trained but to have what they have requires a higher level of commitment and the reward is also greater.

Now, what about the faith? Have you ever looked at a dynamic man or woman of God and wished that you could be as close to God as they seem to be. Well, there are two things to consider

• 1) you never really know what is going on until you walk in another man’s shoes and
• 2) God is no respecter of person, you have as much as you choose to have from God but you have to “put the time in” so to speak.  This is the one that we are going to focus on.

Just like athletes train, the sold out woman of God trains too and her success is measured by the mess she is willing to let go of in order get closer to the Creator. The sold out man of God strengthens himself and builds muscle with every old habit that he walks away from in exchange for something more. They are lifting weights every time they choose to walk in wisdom instead of the old behaviors that were learned from a messed up pass. They condition themselves as they consume Word & tattoo it on the canvas of their mind. With every decision they are reshaping their spiritual selves into something lean and beautiful with God as the master trainer.

Now I ask you, if you do the work, won’t you reap the reward? Grown up dreams, require growing pains but it is only the pain of conditioning.  Is it worth it to you?

MizJAI . . . willing to do the work in order to live the dream

CLUB FITNESS (that’s my gym)
We pay all this money to join these health clubs. We make these plans to work our way into a bikini (or whatever you’re trying to wear with your Christian-self) and oftentimes after the excitement of the first month our commitment to the “almighty” gym begins to fade. So we tell ourselves the excuses that we can live with–
“there’s not enough time”
“I still look good though”
“the instructors ‘suck’ anyway ”
Well,
maybe they do, but where there’s a will there is always a way. And surely we meant to frequent the gym far more than the New Year workouts that we spring into in an effort to keep our new resolutions. How long does that last anyway? a month!?!

You know, the gym doesn’t care about you showing up, because they get the check anyway. So, if the gym doesn’t care, then who will–oh, that’s right, that leaves YOU. And speaking of you, I wonder how many of us have raggedy, seasonal, jacked-up relationships with our faith.

CLUB FAITH (that’s my lifestyle)
Faith in action is like a workout for sure. Without some form of pressure faith has no expression. I look at it this way, upon arrival to heaven love is what dominates, not faith, because we will see God face to face & will know the things that we did not and could not know here. And there will be no need for faith because we will have “it” all, finally seeing, touching, feeling, smelling and truly knowing all the righteous & beautiful things that we have believed and sought after. Our new home will be a place designed by Love (1 John 4:8, ) with rooms set aside for us.
But here
on this side of heaven
faith
is fundamental.
And learning how to exercise that faith is key to breaking down the junk in our lives and building up the best of “we (me & you).”

Take me for example (the resident Gospel Nerve guinea pig for now–and I know I am not the only person with a jacked up pass, but anyway) I married the wrong man once. I know, because he tried to take me out on the honey moon & violence is a good indicator to get the heck out of dodge (in case you where wondering) while you still can. That incident of abuse has created pressure in my life, in my heart, in my head. And that pressure has caused me to take the faith that I have and PUSH against the drama that I feel until I am free of nightmares and fears and foolishness. To push and believe until I am so real with myself that the only thing left is the beauty that the Spirit of Truth brings. AND I am certain that I am not the only one going through. As a matter of fact, after we quit medicating our stupidity with excuses and crutch relationships the only options for us are
(1) to fall apart or
(2) to faith our way through.

I choose number 2, club Faith all the way. And the price, the BEST & the WORST of me from my heart to God’s hands, is not to steep.
Sign me up!
What about you?

MizJAI . . . finally learning to “work-out” like a champion

I’ve been reading The TOTAL MONEY MAKEOVER, a Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey. He talks about ignorance and it strikes a nerve with me.

Ramsey says “ignorance is not a lack of intelligence; it is a lack of know-how.” In other words, if I am ignorant about something, then I simply don’t “know-how” to do it. So then wealth ignorance means I don’t “know-how” to create or keep wealth. I simply haven’t learned to pay cash for what I want instead of using credit for everything. I simply haven’t learned to live debt free yet, because I haven’t been truly exposed to what it means.

Faith ignorance means I don’t “know-how” to faith in every area of my life. I haven’t been exposed to the true & simple, practical application of the Gospel to my everyday situations. I just don’t “know-how” to do it YET. But the beauty about being alive is that we can learn. For example, we can learn what love really is so that we are no longer so ignorant with relationships. When we learn to pay attention to what is real and stop ignoring what is clear & present danger in our relationships or finances or on our jobs (and the list goes on), we find freedom.

In my humble opinion, the most commonly used solution to problems that we don’t want to face is ignorance, excuse me, I mean IGNORING them. Chances are that you’ve done this before in some area of your life, I know I have:

1. I have ignored bills until “later (whatever that is)” or “tomorrow” until the late fees added up to a designer outfit that I never bought because I ignored my way into a mini-mess; and
2. I have ignored the rage and anger an “ex” until that rage was slapping me upside my head, wringing my neck, and breaking my heart; and
3. I have ignored pain in my body feeling like I was “too busy (what is that?)” to address it until I was picking my gluteus maximus up off the floor and

the list could go on and on, but that is enough about me and my mess. What about you?

What have you been ignoring and what are you going to do about it? Don’t be ignorant about a bad relationship, your jacked-up finances or your health–pay attention, make a decision, move on, and live well. It’s time to get some “know-how.”

MizJAI . . . refusing to be ignorant, seeking the answers she needs and insisting on living well

You can’t be everything to everybody. “We” cannot be everything to everybody.

We can be mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons and friends BUT there must be moments in the day when we are simply a man or a woman in a quiet little place where we can hear ourselves think and respond to the voice of God. No matter what we are facing, some days and some seasons are more challenging than others, but regardless, there is a moment in the day for “you,” for “me.” Take it, slow down, breathe deep, renew–the day will be waiting for you. And a with clarity you will be ready for the challenge again.

I have noticed at work that there are seasons when the load is heavier: like
(1) tax season which covers the winter and bleeds into the spring; and
(2) graduation time which leads right into summer break and now the children (at our boys home) are “in the house” everyday; and
(3) then there’s the back to school rush and kicking off the tutoring program which covers the end of the summer; and finally
(4) we enter the fall and the holiday season which may the most hectic time for us as we coordinate Thanksgiving and Christmas for 20+ boys representing 19 different families.
And if you look up, it’s a new year again, a new winter and a new tax season.

I say all that to make one little point: time is going to happen whether you enjoy it or not, whether you make room for you or not, whether you pay attention or not. Life doesn’t stop moving (for the most part). And if you throw in any little unexpected drama, death or heartache in the middle of an already full and hectic situation what’s left of you, if you don’t make room to breath?

Do something that you truly enjoy today. Plan it right now.

MizJAI . . . renewing her stamina for a long and bright future

You used to be so strong, so focused, so sure. Remember that, remember when you were fearless and unafraid of your future and your dreams, no matter how big they were. It was before:
1). It was before your heart was broken more than you could handle.
2). It was before you came up with this plan about being perfect and saving face.
3). It was before you closed your ears to heartache not realizing that somehow, you had closed your heart to real love instead.
4). It was before we came up with all these questionable solutions and ideas about how to “make it” in life.
We were just a little bit younger, a lot more fearless, definitely more clueless and knew we needed God a whole lot more. The beauty of the helplessness of childhood is we know we cannot make it on our own. We know we need help and that creates the atmosphere for a heart of faith that is ready to rely on something bigger than ourselves: God.

I am going back to that place in my heart when I trusted more.

I am going back to the parts of me that laughed like a child, free of worry.

I am going back to reintroduce myself to the me that took pleasure in the simple things, like a butterfly in motion or the smell of a flower in bloom.

I am going back to remember the best parts of me.

And don’t worry, I know that I am grown and that bees sting and that everyone can’t be trusted. I am simply choosing to hold on to “whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report (Phil. 4:8).” I choose to trust God with my heart and my dreams and my hurts and my aches because this bitterness and fear doesn’t suite my life, nor my right to joy. And this fear doesn’t honor this life of faith and hope that I vow to live. What about you? What have you forgotten from your childhood that would serve you well today?

MizJAI . . . rediscovering her childhood moments of faith and wonder and amazement

What makes us different from anyone else?

If you are in a room full of doctors and you are a doctor too, then what makes you different?

If you are in a room full of engineers and you are an engineer too, then what makes you different?

If you are in a room full of graphic designers and you are a designer too, then what makes you different?

If you are in a room full of writers and you are a writer too, then what makes you different?
Is it . . .
❒ your outfit?
❒ your new hairdo?
❒ the price you paid to get there? or
❒ your focus?
While all of the above may make your story unique, interesting and a little funny (depending on that hairdo), what makes it important is our focus. Our differences lie in what we choose to focus on. What kind of doctor are you? What kind of engineer, what kind of graphic designer? What kind of writer? Are you generic or original in your work? Are you common and mediocre or there extra care for the details and the outcome? What types of people are you drawn to serve? Our focus makes us different, our focus builds a fire.

The student who chooses medical school has a focus. As time and effort passes that focus produces a doctor. The person who chooses writing as a focus becomes a writer. If choose faith as a passion, then as time and effort passes, that focus produces a man or woman of faith that cannot be deterred or confused. Our focus determines our future. Focus on fear produces a life of fear. Focus on the things that bring joy, produces joy in our lives. The right kind of focus on our children produces happy, productive and faithful adults. Focus on the reasons why your dream won’t work without discovering why it will produces a life of angst and quiet heartache for what could have been. Focus on your first love and best relationship (God and you) produces a dynamic and truly passionate life filled with surprise and wonder. It also produces a heart and a spirit that is ready to love others for a lifetime. What we choose to focus on determines where we end up. Where is your focus, where is your future?

MizJAI . . . living a life of faith, a life of focus

There seems to be this cycle that circles my life. I learn to trust God for one dream, and then it’s time to trust Him for another. Yes, it’s a cycle of faith. Like the time I wanted to go to Europe, and I was so broke. Long story short God made it happened, just like I knew he would (I will tell you guys about it later).

It seems like a year had not even passed before new desires and needs emerged. I wanted a house of my own and yes, I was so broke. God made it happen.

In the course of six months both grandparents passed and I needed God. This was followed by a season of family issues which was followed by a season of friend issues which was followed by a season of work issues; and yes, I needed God.

THE LESSON

Looking back teaches me something simple: I need God in my life, even when I think I am strong enough on my own. In life, or at least in mine, there seems to be this cycle of storms that we are either
1). headed into,
2). in the middle of it, or
3). on our way out
(as my pastor puts it).
When I am fighting for my career dreams, I can take comfort in the fact that “as I delight in the law of Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart.” So I dive into the word. As I am standing for my family to be delivered from our own brand of crazy (don’t judge, I happen to know for a fact that EVERYBODY’s family is special in it’s own little-God-deliver-us-from-our-mess way ) As I stand for my family, I know that “greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world” and I take comfort that as I stand and believe God will deliver me into my best dream.

There is simply always something or someone to FAITH for. We might as well accept this reality, we need God. So when you finally arrive in your dream and walk in the life that you hoped it would bring, if you feel the prick and pain of a new desire and need–Don’t beat yourself up, go right back to the One who helped you in the first place. You are growing up by walking through another cycle of FAITH, learning to trust God everyday for everything one single moment at a time, and that is ok.

MizJAI . . . walking through another cycle of FAITH

It has been awhile. A full Christmas, an exciting New Year, and a world-wind of work brings us to the door of March, already. Unless it is a lazy summer with enough humidity to stop time, everything seems to move so fast.

Of course we can always use our super power called “free will” and calm things down for a minute. I am sitting in a little cafe in small town outside of Atlanta. Taking a moment to myself between meetings simply because there is a point where you can move past the place of clarity; and the only real solution is a quiet moment, a deep breath, and re-evaluation.

Yes, I still have this dream that beats strong in my chest . . . Is your dream still alive?

Yes, I still believe that this dream is important enough to capture the best of my attention . . .Is your dream still important to you?

Yes, the details and the repetition sometimes dulls my focus on the big picture, but I know that these dedicated actions will walk me to the door of my dream . . . Do your daily actions move you closer to your best desires?

Yes, I am willing to adjust myself and my efforts in order to get closer and become more of who I need to be in order to live what I see in my mind . . . Are you still willing to slow down long enough to
1. regroup for your next move,
2. reevaluate for future actions,
3. refresh your focus,
4. renew your spirit for the journey, and
5. rediscover why you started down this road in the first place?
Are you still on the move for your dream?

Your best desires are waiting for you to arrive.

MizJAI . . . remembering the dream
(behind the scenes: Gospel Nerve is preparing for a move, as well as some tweaks and updates. We finally have a logo and a “home of our own”. As you see the different changes taking place let me know what you think. Most of you prefer private emails and that works for me too. On the new site I am considering disabling comments, share your thoughts on this if you like . . .)

The dinners have been cooked. I personally rocked that sweet potato pie and received some praise from the hardest critic in the family. I enjoyed my Thanksgiving this year but the laughter is coming to a quiet fade and the family is preparing to jump back into our pre-Thanksgiving schedule and stresses.

But . . . before I dive into the chaos with the added hustle that Christmas brings, I thought I would share this with you, see if this is something that we can do together. I’m stopping right now to consider three key areas of my life, and to prepare to make some life changing decisions about these areas in the next week. Why so fast? Because now is the not the time for waiting or living on autopilot. Now is the time to recognize 3 of the most easily ignored but really important reasons the holidays can be so hard for some of us.

So take a moment to ask yourself what I am asking myself:

1) FAMILY.
Are my family relationships the way that I want them to be? Are they the best that they could be? What is the single most important action I can take right now to improve this area of my life? Family seems to be the most emotionally fused part of our lives (and then friendships).

2) FUTURE. Does what I do today prepare me for the future that I actually want tomorrow? Should I wait for the New Year before I assess my life and begin to make adjustments or should I look, learn and prepare for changes now?

3) FINANCES.
Do I live a debt free lifestyle or am I a slave to my paycheck and credit card lender? What simple thing can I do today to make my financial life better tomorrow?

They seem like big questions. They are, but we’ve “got the nerve” to tackle them head on. With faithful steps we can conquer any mountain one-little-bit-at-a-time. I have big dreams of a grand future that will require great wealth and I insist on a gloriously happy & connected family to share it with. Your dreams may be far more simple, but we all need inspiration to walk with us and speak to us; to simply remind us to keep going.

So let’s get started. I’ll see you in the morning for family talk. In the meantime consider those questions. I’ll be doing the same.

-MizJAI . . . inspiration for living a better life, now-