It  used  to be so huge to her. It use to fill the room and consume her thoughts.  But now it was almost gone.  She could barely see it and definitely could not touch it.  How could something that big shrink so small?  Was it sick? Was it dying? Who had broken it? Could it be fixed? Has anyone called the hospital yet?  We are people right? We don’t watch something die and fail to get involved! Is that who we have become, so use to death, so common with disease, so comfortable with pain that we forget to respond with passion any more?

It’s a devastating syndrome; a dream-killer for certain, TLF seems to be air borne and few seem to care.  Do you?

MizJAI…aggressively overcoming the Too Little Faith (TLF) syndrome, dreaming BIG and taking the whole of my personality and who I am to trust God for that dream, guzzling down the only lasting cure for this disease: the Word which says “I Always Win,” and so can you. Find out how in the next post…

She stepped toward the edge of the board.  Knees numb, legs jumping, she wondered how she would do this.  But something in her felt that she could only do this.  No quitting, no going back…it was as if the only choice was to dive in.  She had been training and practicing on how to swim for months.  She knew she could swim, but still the “what ifs” flooded her mind and the height quivered her heart – that first dive was simply scary to her.  And yet, she kept moving toward the edge of the board.

Love can be like that, you can plan for your life, do all you need to do to have healing from what hurts you and make yourself as ready as possible for your tomorrows, and when its time to move forward you are simply afraid. That’s okay as long as you learn when to move forward regardless, and when to wait.  If you do plan on diving in to the love pool that is (and yes that was a little corny =;-D, but stay with me), then here are some other four letter words to watch out for because many of us have confused these simple words with love.  And others have thought that we could replace real love with these words.  And for some it appears to work temporarily.  But fake solutions have a way of leaking and breaking apart in irreparable ways.  Let’s check out these words so that we know exactly what we are dealing with and can make adjustments for the best of life, and that includes a real, lasting love from God and the people God has appointed to love you.  These five things are a collection of some of the words I have gathered from my mother’s little life lessons. I give them to you in my own words, but she is the inspiration behind them. My mom is a warrior for real fighting for her health, fighting for her children and fighting for a 35 year marriage that is both exciting and miraculous.

1. LIKE is good.  Like means you are interesting and I want your attention.  I want to watch you and get to know you.  It can be a lovely start of things but it’s not love it’s just the beginning.
2. LUCK can be exciting at first.  Luck is “I bumped into you and happened upon your affection.”  It’s perfect for Mr. & Mrs. Right Now.  But there comes a point that some actions must be taken on purpose.  The entire relationship cannot continue with luck as the driving force or we run the risk of ending up with Lazy.
3. LAZY just is.  Lazy says, “this is who I am and who I will always be.  If this gets you, good, if not, oh well.”  Lazy is what it is: just know what you are dealing with and adjust your heart accordingly.  Change and progress are a part of God’s best life for you, but trying to build a life with a person that fights those things will be a constant uphill climb.  And building a life where you are always laboring to change people into something that they don’t even want to be is difficult and painful.  Adults only change when they want to or have to.  Either way you need God for that to last  and not Eloise “I’m-going-to-make-him-perfect ” Jones or Donald “I-can-fix-her” Smith.  And let’s not forget a major player in this four letter word game, lust.
4. LUST says, “you’re cute and sexy and I want you…your body…you…I just want you.”  Lust doesn’t settle down until it has what it wants.  And it has nothing to do with love.  This emotion runs high and can get us caught up and messed up if we don’t call it what it is and have an accountability team to tell us the truth about what we are facing.
5. LOVE says, “I lifetime you and I have the track record to prove it.  I endure for you, I am patient for you, I seek the best for you, I forever you.”  Love simply lasts and lasts and outlasts it all.  More and more it is easy for me to see just how God is LOVE.  He forevers me, He lifetimes me, He endures for me.  Just know that love is so much more than what they tell us in the movies…keep searching God, yourself and life until you give and receive the best of it.

We have one more post in our little love series so I’ll see you next week the Four Things to Look For When You Are Searching For An Outstanding Love.  This list comes from the expert of all experts, so don’t miss it. In the meantime; Live more, Love more!

MizJAI…rediscovering the heart of love again

Yesterday, I purchased a new lunch box. I was so happy with myself to finally have something that reflects my style to carry my food in. It’s cute and chic (for a lunch box) and it can easily be mistaken for a handbag. I adore the little thing and find that it reminds me of my childhood when I received my very first lunch box. It was a lime-green, square case with the Care Bears all over the outside AND on the thermos. It made me so happy to carry my lunch to elementary school in that little box. And I was equally happy yesterday to carry my lunch to work in my little, grown-up box. So happy, in fact that I random shared this information with two strangers in the grocery store, and walked around my job with the bag in hand much longer than necessary. It’s funny the things that bring us joy on any level.

Simple pleasures truly do shape our lives beautiful, just like simple pains shape it into a heartache if we dwell there too long. Love is interesting because we keep looking for it outside of ourselves. I used to feel lonely all the time. The work day would end and there would be no calls waiting for me. I could give a 12 or 20 hour day for months and years (and I did) and there seemed to be no one to notice or care. My entire family was doing the same thing. And when we stopped to rest I always noticed the silence and my desire to have some one looking for me, noticing me, calling and checking for me. I thought there was no one. Outside of our world of work and service it seemed as if no one saw us (me), as if no one cared. We are community servants; it’s kind of a family trade. We give our lives to others for love. In fact, that’s what saved me. I remembered that we serve for the love of God and others. And in that memory I rediscovered the Golden rule (in my words): to give it away and it will come back to you the way you need it when you need it.

I am still a single woman but now I pick up the phone and call people who probably are not receiving calls at the end of their days. I connect and quit waiting and complaining because my life is happening right now and I might as well participate in it right now. I have been medicating my simple pains by focusing on others for years. In fact, some of those people that I called to love on have passed on and those conversations will live on as a gift that I keep closer and closer as the years go by.

I have learned the hard way that unaddressed heartaches lead to foolish decisions. So pay attention to yourself and the things that make you vulnerable and weak to bad ideas and wrong relationships because

1. The lies we tell ourselves are a block to real love.
2. Never having joys of our own is a weight to the people who (try to) love us.
3. Refusing to grow up and change for the better will get us the same type of relationships that we have always had and consequently the same type of heartaches, headaches (whatever you want to call it).

Love is so much more than romance. It’s also me wanting the best and my willingness to give the best to the people I say that I love. Let’s face it, “love” is the ready topic of every other movie and ready thought of every other single, unmarried individual over the age of 30, excuse me 27. We want love, this captivating all encompassing, us against the world kind of love with another person. And yes like we discovered earlier, hearts can get broken and hurt and that makes love risky and a little dirty, but many of us feel like it’s worth it. Well, I have collected (from the experts) a few tips for those of us who plan to dive in…so stay tuned

MizJAI…finding the love again

You ever noticed how everybody seems to know somebody that “can help you with that.  Let me just give them a call for you.  Don’t worry, I’ll hook you up.”  These days everybody seems to need a hook up, want a hook up, or have a hook up.  Have you ever wondered what all that is? Well, I have and I’ve also noticed a few things:

1. Hook ups aren’t necessarily bad. All of us need one from time to time.  Some people just want to be helpful and they want to be known for helping others.  So they collect information and contacts, and they put the right people together at the right time.  Many times it’s a win-win outcome. BUT
2. Hook ups can be completely self-serving too.  Some people are simply barters, they trade one service or favor for another one.  That’s not bad, necessarily.  In fact bartering can be quite clever when done right.  I hook you up Monday morning with a paying gig.  You hook me up Friday night at the crowded hot spot in the city by becoming my guaranteed way in.  That’s cool, as long as the third person (you know the one coughing up all the money) “gets the hook up” too by receiving excellent service.  But self serving people don’t always think about everyone involved.
3. Bad hook ups can save you money in the beginning and cost you extra work, extra cash, extra stress in the end. This is the case when someone hooks you up with a company that does sloppy work or someone hooks you up with stolen goods. What if you work at a local store and all your friends have the “hook up” because you give them free items out of the store any time they want.  Well, your friends are happy because they get free goods.  And you seem to be pleased because now people fake like they care because you’ve purchased their affection with your “stolen goods.“  And the guy who actually owns the store, the one who paid the price to create the business, is loosing money.  I don’t think he feels hooked up, because it is his property to give or sale, not yours.  Stolen hook-ups always cost you in the end (eventually), especially when you’re trying to live as a man or woman of God because with God integrity is everything.

You know, Proverbs says that ”pureness of heart“ and grace in your communication shall cause the king to befriend you (PRO 22:11).  Now, that’s a real hook up: being connected to powerful people because of your integrity, discretion and conversation is the kind of connection that can stand the test of time.   A man being diligent in his work, puts him in the company of kings (PRO 22:29).   Since we all need a hook up from time to time, let’s be mindful of excellent and honest things.

MizJAI…life-styling for the King’s Company, you are welcomed to join me

I was that girl that just loved the action cartoons from my childhood.  Some of my favorites were Defenders of the Earth, Thunder Cats, and of course The Transformers.  Every time Optimus Prime’s voice came through the television something on the inside of me would leap.  He was the father figure for what was good and right on that show and he was always the voice of wisdom and the glue to their unity and teamwork (and he could kit butt too).  When I saw the modern day Transformers movie with Shia Labeouf as the leading character I was so excited to “hear” Optimus Prime’s voice after all these years that I leaped out of my seat with one hand in the air like i was ready for battle.  After I realized that only me and my youngest sister were standing up, I sat back down and dove into the movie.  But since that time I have been wondering about my own voice.

1. Am I living the kind of life, being the kind of example, speaking the kind of words that will stand the test of time?
2. Do I have a voice that draws a passionate and favorable response out of people?
3. Does what I do reach hearts and is it real and powerful enough to reach across time and still be relevant?  And if not,
4. What am I going to do about it?

Well, after all those questions, it occurred to me that with all that I am and all that I do, I could still do more, be more, and give more.  But it’s not just about me.

There are people who need what God has placed on the inside of us.  They will need us to show up in their lives for different reasons in different seasons.  In the meantime (because God will set up the appointment and not us) we can prepare so that we constantly bring the best of ourselves to the table. For example, we can stop destroying and ripping things apart by becoming better workers.  Besides the Word says, “he who is loose and slack in his work is brother to him who is a destroyer (PRO 18:9).”  And we choose to be builders and developers on purpose, shaping the world around us into something beautiful and powerful, finding problems that need to be solved by us and putting our heart and our best into it.  In fact, that’s how we become timeless, by showing up for other people in small, sincere and consistent ways.

Learn to be a Transformer, changing from the weaker you to the stronger you, moving away from the self-centered you to the giving and considerate you, adjusting from the “me first” you to the “what can I do to help?” you.  By giving, we become more than we ever were in the first place.  By giving more, we become more than we ever imagined we could be.  We are beautiful and there is more to us than meets the eye.

MizJAI…transforming into the rest of me

Do you remember the fair?  It was exciting to hear that “the fair is coming to town!”  I could always see myself walking the grounds with funnel cake in both hands or trying to win a stuffed animal or standing in line for the rides.  The anticipation was an event of its own.   Oh, it was so fun! But as I grew up I noticed, most of the rides take you in circles and you always end back up where you started.  Oh, you laugh and scream and smile, but you are definitely going in circles.  Well, that’s acceptable for a fair, a place that is designed to be a momentary escape from reality, but what about the rest of it?  Is a “merry-go-round” life going to work for us?  Don’t get me wrong, we all want to laugh and scream and smile and go on the ride of our lives, but when it is over, don’t we need to be closer to the dream and further into the journey? Don’t we need to be stronger and better and happier and more of the best of ourselves? Don’t we need to move forward with each stride?  I do.  You do.  We do.  My prayer for us is:

• that we stop rehearsing old habits, and stop being surprised when they produce the same old pain
• that we stop doing old things, living the same old way and expecting a new and different outcome when we haven’t done enough to change
• that we start striding outside of our comfort zone and learn to live and love in ways that we have never seen or imagined before

There is a better way of living with our names on it. Let’s dive in and see just what God has in store for you and me…

MizJAI…waking up to the best of life

Often times life stretches out in front of us like a long winding road that we have yet to travel.  It looks interesting and frightening at the same time.  Going around that corner is unknown, and the unknown excites one person and scares another.

I love driving back country roads with hills and curves and changing scenery.  I think it’s the impact of riding through the Asheville Mountains when I was a little girl “lost” on the open highway with my mother and two sisters.  We stopped to touch waterfalls and to daydream out loud.  For my mother the adventure was a requirement, and she birth that same desire on the inside of me.  Now, I look for the changes in life, even the scary ones.

In fact the need for change feels like a quiet rumble in my chest.  It’s a simple desire to create something new & alive, now; to shape something powerful into existence, now; to make impact, now; to live more than I have been living, right now; to captivate that best of me and change the world around me or at least to just change for the better, now.  Besides, the best version of ourselves, serves others far better than the left overs from over-extending, under-living, and ignoring dreams for new air and adventure.

It’s time to live more, right now!  I want to encourage you to take that curve and enjoy what you discover on the other side.  Find something simple, new and different in your world like a Zumba Aerobics Class, Salsa night on Saturdays, Painting in the Park, Photography Lessons, and/or a long beautiful ride that ends in a lakeside lunch.  Remember, adventure doesn’t have a price tag on it.  Many times the less expensive moments hold the more valuable memories.

MizJAI . . . getting ready for a new bend in the road, hoping you join me!

Do you remember the nursery rhyme about Humpty Dumpty? It went something like this . . .

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
all the King’s horses and
all the King’s men
couldn’t put Humpty back together again

He was an egg, and when eggs fall apart it seems impossible to get them back into shape. Well, the thing about us is that in a lot of ways we are equally as fragile with a hard outer shell that is far easier to crack than we like to admit. Which brings me to this: what happens in those moments when we do crack; in those situations that cause us to scatter and fall? What happens to us? Is the falling apart the end of the story? . . . It doesn’t have to be. In fact, if we handle it right it could be the beginning of something powerful.

When we discover fire in the cold, the value of that heat increases for us. When we find hope in the face of impossible heartache, then survival begins to mean something else altogether for us. When we discover strength in the wake of great weakness, then overcoming begins to take shape for us. Now, no matter what we face, with God we possess the ability to pull all the pieces back into place. In fact, in moments of true grief, great pain and overwhelming heartache we have this “opportunity” to become the beauty that emerges from ashes. We may have our frailties but we are not Humpty Dumpty. We have had great falls but we are strong enough to find hope.

Always remember that God gives beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Isa 61: 3).

MizJAI . . . wiping off the ashes and moving on to beauty

We traveled a-lot when I was growing up and for a season we stayed in Jacksonville, Florida near the water. Every evening my sisters and I would build sand castles, create shared adventures within our mind, and search out clams fully expecting to find pearls on the inside. We seemed to never tire of the searching and the building and the dreaming even though we never found a single pearl out there, and the water or someone’s foot always seemed to destroy what we built or steal our clams out of their sand castle home. One thing remained, the hope never died.

Every clam comes out of the elements: the water, the vegetation, the bumpy ride to the surface & God knows what else it goes through, BUT e–v–e–r–y clam does not have a pearl on the inside. In fact, agitation is required in order for pearls to form and that makes me think of us. We (humans) go through things and sometimes we arrive at places, and then ask ourselves “How did I get here?” It’s simple, one step after another followed by small and large decisions daily bring us to were we are today. And whether or not we believe that we are in complete control our past, know this, we are in complete control of today. Today I can joy. Today I can dream. Today I can start over. Today I can be aware of the agitation of my yesterdays and choose to take the steps to discover the pearls that have formed on the inside of me.

While every clam does not have a pearl, every human does. It’s just a matter of the discovering it. If you have been through anything the elements are there for the beautiful to emerge out of you. My pastor always reminds us to “reset out mind.” He says if “I’ve made it this far, and I have to start over from here, then I know I can make it from this point.”

We are going places. Let’s make the decision to go over and not under, to win in life and not loose heart, to regain focus instead of falling a part, to keep going until the life we want is the life that we live everyday.

Never, never, never give up! Just start over

1. with tears in your eyes, start over
2. with laughter choked up in your chest, start over
3. with the best of your faded dreams in the back of your mind, start over, they will come back to you
4. with the kids at your heels and the impossible as your reality, start over
5. with every painful and not so perfect step, start over.

You are not alone. You are pearl hunting, searching out the beauty on the inside of you that the agitation of your past has created. Just hold on and start over with one determined step at a time. And just for you, do something special today: walk, dance, laugh, paint, dream, write, lay on your back in the grass and watch the stars tonight or the clouds this afternoon, pray, sing, start your new beginning today . . .

MizJAI . . . still searching and building and dreaming and starting over

I used to imagine myself rounding the track, handing the baton off to Flo Jo (Florence Griffith-Joyner) herself and catching my breathe while she ran the last leg of the 4 by 400 in the Olympics. In my memory I couldn’t hear the sound of the crowd over my own excitement of just being on this team and winning the gold medal (of course). It was a beautiful reoccurring desire BUT I never did the work that it takes to make the Olympic team.

In fact, all of you would think it crazy if I were to become jealous and to complain about this seasons Olympic hopefuls. They work for it, I don’t, so there’s no reason to hate (right?). I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely lazy. After all I ran track in high school and in college, so I trained but to have what they have requires a higher level of commitment and the reward is also greater.

Now, what about the faith? Have you ever looked at a dynamic man or woman of God and wished that you could be as close to God as they seem to be. Well, there are two things to consider

• 1) you never really know what is going on until you walk in another man’s shoes and
• 2) God is no respecter of person, you have as much as you choose to have from God but you have to “put the time in” so to speak.  This is the one that we are going to focus on.

Just like athletes train, the sold out woman of God trains too and her success is measured by the mess she is willing to let go of in order get closer to the Creator. The sold out man of God strengthens himself and builds muscle with every old habit that he walks away from in exchange for something more. They are lifting weights every time they choose to walk in wisdom instead of the old behaviors that were learned from a messed up pass. They condition themselves as they consume Word & tattoo it on the canvas of their mind. With every decision they are reshaping their spiritual selves into something lean and beautiful with God as the master trainer.

Now I ask you, if you do the work, won’t you reap the reward? Grown up dreams, require growing pains but it is only the pain of conditioning.  Is it worth it to you?

MizJAI . . . willing to do the work in order to live the dream