Do you remember the fair?  It was exciting to hear that “the fair is coming to town!”  I could always see myself walking the grounds with funnel cake in both hands or trying to win a stuffed animal or standing in line for the rides.  The anticipation was an event of its own.   Oh, it was so fun! But as I grew up I noticed, most of the rides take you in circles and you always end back up where you started.  Oh, you laugh and scream and smile, but you are definitely going in circles.  Well, that’s acceptable for a fair, a place that is designed to be a momentary escape from reality, but what about the rest of it?  Is a “merry-go-round” life going to work for us?  Don’t get me wrong, we all want to laugh and scream and smile and go on the ride of our lives, but when it is over, don’t we need to be closer to the dream and further into the journey? Don’t we need to be stronger and better and happier and more of the best of ourselves? Don’t we need to move forward with each stride?  I do.  You do.  We do.  My prayer for us is:

• that we stop rehearsing old habits, and stop being surprised when they produce the same old pain
• that we stop doing old things, living the same old way and expecting a new and different outcome when we haven’t done enough to change
• that we start striding outside of our comfort zone and learn to live and love in ways that we have never seen or imagined before

There is a better way of living with our names on it. Let’s dive in and see just what God has in store for you and me…

MizJAI…waking up to the best of life

I’ve been reading The TOTAL MONEY MAKEOVER, a Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey. He talks about ignorance and it strikes a nerve with me.

Ramsey says “ignorance is not a lack of intelligence; it is a lack of know-how.” In other words, if I am ignorant about something, then I simply don’t “know-how” to do it. So then wealth ignorance means I don’t “know-how” to create or keep wealth. I simply haven’t learned to pay cash for what I want instead of using credit for everything. I simply haven’t learned to live debt free yet, because I haven’t been truly exposed to what it means.

Faith ignorance means I don’t “know-how” to faith in every area of my life. I haven’t been exposed to the true & simple, practical application of the Gospel to my everyday situations. I just don’t “know-how” to do it YET. But the beauty about being alive is that we can learn. For example, we can learn what love really is so that we are no longer so ignorant with relationships. When we learn to pay attention to what is real and stop ignoring what is clear & present danger in our relationships or finances or on our jobs (and the list goes on), we find freedom.

In my humble opinion, the most commonly used solution to problems that we don’t want to face is ignorance, excuse me, I mean IGNORING them. Chances are that you’ve done this before in some area of your life, I know I have:

1. I have ignored bills until “later (whatever that is)” or “tomorrow” until the late fees added up to a designer outfit that I never bought because I ignored my way into a mini-mess; and
2. I have ignored the rage and anger an “ex” until that rage was slapping me upside my head, wringing my neck, and breaking my heart; and
3. I have ignored pain in my body feeling like I was “too busy (what is that?)” to address it until I was picking my gluteus maximus up off the floor and

the list could go on and on, but that is enough about me and my mess. What about you?

What have you been ignoring and what are you going to do about it? Don’t be ignorant about a bad relationship, your jacked-up finances or your health–pay attention, make a decision, move on, and live well. It’s time to get some “know-how.”

MizJAI . . . refusing to be ignorant, seeking the answers she needs and insisting on living well

Have you ever had one of those days where your best plans and ideas just seem to unravel right in front of you? The team you trained begins to act like they were never taught a thing. The people you work with or for seem to forget their own systems. Your partner breaks the flow of business that the two of you have enjoyed from day one. You thought you had your ducks in row but things have been changed. Somebody else created a BIG problem and now you are the one who must fix it. Does any of that sound like your situation? Moments like those make you feel like all your pre-efforts were a waste.

Well, despite what it looks like, those efforts have prepared you for the sometimes “drama” of business. You are just the person to rectify these wrongs and redirect your team, no matter who you are playing with. And even though Murphy (as in Murphy’s Law)seems to creep up behind you, you know just what to do. And the anger or the tears or the attitude is just your frustration, but you can control that, you can regroup, you can start over in your mind. As my Pastor says, “If I made it this far, I know I can make it from here.” When all else fails start over. Calm yourself down and start all over.

MizJAI . . . calming herself down, learning how to start over

You can’t be everything to everybody. “We” cannot be everything to everybody.

We can be mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons and friends BUT there must be moments in the day when we are simply a man or a woman in a quiet little place where we can hear ourselves think and respond to the voice of God. No matter what we are facing, some days and some seasons are more challenging than others, but regardless, there is a moment in the day for “you,” for “me.” Take it, slow down, breathe deep, renew–the day will be waiting for you. And a with clarity you will be ready for the challenge again.

I have noticed at work that there are seasons when the load is heavier: like
(1) tax season which covers the winter and bleeds into the spring; and
(2) graduation time which leads right into summer break and now the children (at our boys home) are “in the house” everyday; and
(3) then there’s the back to school rush and kicking off the tutoring program which covers the end of the summer; and finally
(4) we enter the fall and the holiday season which may the most hectic time for us as we coordinate Thanksgiving and Christmas for 20+ boys representing 19 different families.
And if you look up, it’s a new year again, a new winter and a new tax season.

I say all that to make one little point: time is going to happen whether you enjoy it or not, whether you make room for you or not, whether you pay attention or not. Life doesn’t stop moving (for the most part). And if you throw in any little unexpected drama, death or heartache in the middle of an already full and hectic situation what’s left of you, if you don’t make room to breath?

Do something that you truly enjoy today. Plan it right now.

MizJAI . . . renewing her stamina for a long and bright future

What makes us different from anyone else?

If you are in a room full of doctors and you are a doctor too, then what makes you different?

If you are in a room full of engineers and you are an engineer too, then what makes you different?

If you are in a room full of graphic designers and you are a designer too, then what makes you different?

If you are in a room full of writers and you are a writer too, then what makes you different?
Is it . . .
❒ your outfit?
❒ your new hairdo?
❒ the price you paid to get there? or
❒ your focus?
While all of the above may make your story unique, interesting and a little funny (depending on that hairdo), what makes it important is our focus. Our differences lie in what we choose to focus on. What kind of doctor are you? What kind of engineer, what kind of graphic designer? What kind of writer? Are you generic or original in your work? Are you common and mediocre or there extra care for the details and the outcome? What types of people are you drawn to serve? Our focus makes us different, our focus builds a fire.

The student who chooses medical school has a focus. As time and effort passes that focus produces a doctor. The person who chooses writing as a focus becomes a writer. If choose faith as a passion, then as time and effort passes, that focus produces a man or woman of faith that cannot be deterred or confused. Our focus determines our future. Focus on fear produces a life of fear. Focus on the things that bring joy, produces joy in our lives. The right kind of focus on our children produces happy, productive and faithful adults. Focus on the reasons why your dream won’t work without discovering why it will produces a life of angst and quiet heartache for what could have been. Focus on your first love and best relationship (God and you) produces a dynamic and truly passionate life filled with surprise and wonder. It also produces a heart and a spirit that is ready to love others for a lifetime. What we choose to focus on determines where we end up. Where is your focus, where is your future?

MizJAI . . . living a life of faith, a life of focus

There seems to be this cycle that circles my life. I learn to trust God for one dream, and then it’s time to trust Him for another. Yes, it’s a cycle of faith. Like the time I wanted to go to Europe, and I was so broke. Long story short God made it happened, just like I knew he would (I will tell you guys about it later).

It seems like a year had not even passed before new desires and needs emerged. I wanted a house of my own and yes, I was so broke. God made it happen.

In the course of six months both grandparents passed and I needed God. This was followed by a season of family issues which was followed by a season of friend issues which was followed by a season of work issues; and yes, I needed God.

THE LESSON

Looking back teaches me something simple: I need God in my life, even when I think I am strong enough on my own. In life, or at least in mine, there seems to be this cycle of storms that we are either
1). headed into,
2). in the middle of it, or
3). on our way out
(as my pastor puts it).
When I am fighting for my career dreams, I can take comfort in the fact that “as I delight in the law of Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart.” So I dive into the word. As I am standing for my family to be delivered from our own brand of crazy (don’t judge, I happen to know for a fact that EVERYBODY’s family is special in it’s own little-God-deliver-us-from-our-mess way ) As I stand for my family, I know that “greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world” and I take comfort that as I stand and believe God will deliver me into my best dream.

There is simply always something or someone to FAITH for. We might as well accept this reality, we need God. So when you finally arrive in your dream and walk in the life that you hoped it would bring, if you feel the prick and pain of a new desire and need–Don’t beat yourself up, go right back to the One who helped you in the first place. You are growing up by walking through another cycle of FAITH, learning to trust God everyday for everything one single moment at a time, and that is ok.

MizJAI . . . walking through another cycle of FAITH

It has been awhile. A full Christmas, an exciting New Year, and a world-wind of work brings us to the door of March, already. Unless it is a lazy summer with enough humidity to stop time, everything seems to move so fast.

Of course we can always use our super power called “free will” and calm things down for a minute. I am sitting in a little cafe in small town outside of Atlanta. Taking a moment to myself between meetings simply because there is a point where you can move past the place of clarity; and the only real solution is a quiet moment, a deep breath, and re-evaluation.

Yes, I still have this dream that beats strong in my chest . . . Is your dream still alive?

Yes, I still believe that this dream is important enough to capture the best of my attention . . .Is your dream still important to you?

Yes, the details and the repetition sometimes dulls my focus on the big picture, but I know that these dedicated actions will walk me to the door of my dream . . . Do your daily actions move you closer to your best desires?

Yes, I am willing to adjust myself and my efforts in order to get closer and become more of who I need to be in order to live what I see in my mind . . . Are you still willing to slow down long enough to
1. regroup for your next move,
2. reevaluate for future actions,
3. refresh your focus,
4. renew your spirit for the journey, and
5. rediscover why you started down this road in the first place?
Are you still on the move for your dream?

Your best desires are waiting for you to arrive.

MizJAI . . . remembering the dream
(behind the scenes: Gospel Nerve is preparing for a move, as well as some tweaks and updates. We finally have a logo and a “home of our own”. As you see the different changes taking place let me know what you think. Most of you prefer private emails and that works for me too. On the new site I am considering disabling comments, share your thoughts on this if you like . . .)

Return to Sender (Creation Conversation)

Most of the time you can’t send your family back. And although fifty percent of American married couples routinely divorce each other, has anyone every successfully divorced their family. I mean really, it’s not that easy when it’s the one you where born into. Even if you ignore them all together or simply try to ignore the bad parts and enjoy the rest, things always have a way of creeping in.

So . . .

when your husband says what he always seems to eventually say. You know those series of words, those ones that always manages to set you off somewhere in your vulnerable place.

And when your parents or your child has simply gone farther than the turkey dressing can cover, and said more than you needed to hear for one break.

When your brother or sister finally find and work that nerve that is commonly known as “your last one”

. . . Remember that you are not alone.

Family drama doesn’t come in a box. Consequently, you can’t neatly stamp return to sender and leave it at the post office. So it’s time for some Creation Conversation.

Let’s face it, God made them and not you. So chances are that you are not going to be able to yell and nag and control and scream them into the person that you want them to be. Which means it’s time for a new approach, knees first.

It’s time to refocus my conversations about family to the One who created them, God, the Father himself.

Tell the Truth (Recognition)

Pull out a piece of paper and a pen. You are getting ready to tell the unadulterated truth about whatever you are dealing with, but be sure to have a shredder close by. Because you’re expressing them to get them off your chest not to hurt anyone. You don’t want your dark thoughts to destroy your living relationships. You just want clarity, to direct your prayers and confessions because we are getting ready to change our lives.

At a time when I was completely fed up with every member of my family, I did this and it changed me. And when I change for the better, then my whole life changes for the better.

I wrote down the names of every member that was “bothering me.” I mean all the junk that they did that I hate and have hated for years, I just wrote it all down and numbered each one. Then I made a list about myself as well, figuring that there was a chance that I had worked their nerves too (a little, at least ). And in the middle of documenting my family’s demons, I decided to be real. Tears fell and my pen kept moving. Evidently, I had a life time of stuff to get off my chest.

When I was done making those list, I took a deep breathe and then I re-read them and scratch off everything that was self. If she wears short hair and I wish she would wear it long. I let it go. I scratched that kind of junk off because it doesn’t matter. If her hair doesn’t stop her from getting a job or separate her from God, then I removed it from my list and focused on what was more important.

Finally, I had a more honest and relevant list. So, I gave it to God. I said, “God these are the things that will not serve their dreams, their futures or their success. I give them and all the issues to You because You made my family and You know just what they need. So heal these areas. Grow my family up in Jesus name I pray Amen.”

One of my sisters came to see me later that night. She said, “I believe that I’ve been doing this (and she explained it) my whole life. I think I am going to stop. It’s like I couldn’t see it before but now I do. What do you think? Have I been doing that?” Oh my God, could this be happening. Yes it was. So in that moment I made a decision. I left out all the arrogant, self-righteous, older-sister, I-told-you-so crap and simply “Yes, I had noticed that too.” She thought out loud for a while, thanked me for helping her and then left.

I checked my list. That was item number 1 and 2 in a single moment where I said less than I normally say and got further than I normally get.

Honest and sincere prayer works for the righteous, so don’t give up. Dive in to Creation Conversation, talk to the One who made them. He made you and get ready to grow and change too.

-MizJAI . . . family inspiration-

The dinners have been cooked. I personally rocked that sweet potato pie and received some praise from the hardest critic in the family. I enjoyed my Thanksgiving this year but the laughter is coming to a quiet fade and the family is preparing to jump back into our pre-Thanksgiving schedule and stresses.

But . . . before I dive into the chaos with the added hustle that Christmas brings, I thought I would share this with you, see if this is something that we can do together. I’m stopping right now to consider three key areas of my life, and to prepare to make some life changing decisions about these areas in the next week. Why so fast? Because now is the not the time for waiting or living on autopilot. Now is the time to recognize 3 of the most easily ignored but really important reasons the holidays can be so hard for some of us.

So take a moment to ask yourself what I am asking myself:

1) FAMILY.
Are my family relationships the way that I want them to be? Are they the best that they could be? What is the single most important action I can take right now to improve this area of my life? Family seems to be the most emotionally fused part of our lives (and then friendships).

2) FUTURE. Does what I do today prepare me for the future that I actually want tomorrow? Should I wait for the New Year before I assess my life and begin to make adjustments or should I look, learn and prepare for changes now?

3) FINANCES.
Do I live a debt free lifestyle or am I a slave to my paycheck and credit card lender? What simple thing can I do today to make my financial life better tomorrow?

They seem like big questions. They are, but we’ve “got the nerve” to tackle them head on. With faithful steps we can conquer any mountain one-little-bit-at-a-time. I have big dreams of a grand future that will require great wealth and I insist on a gloriously happy & connected family to share it with. Your dreams may be far more simple, but we all need inspiration to walk with us and speak to us; to simply remind us to keep going.

So let’s get started. I’ll see you in the morning for family talk. In the meantime consider those questions. I’ll be doing the same.

-MizJAI . . . inspiration for living a better life, now-

You will adore this little video . . . from zoeitoh

The Lord’s prayer has never sounded better
-MizJAI-