GOSPEL NERVE Cafe » woman

Getting to the Business of Living

MizJAI — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 10:25:00 +0000

“I have these yesterdays that creep into my future. I try to walk in new dreams but I have this old pain that just gets in the way. I seek after new moments but it seems to be the old me when I get there. I’m looking for something new but it never seems to arrive.” Have you ever felt like that, as if you were slowly slipping away even though you try to hold on and wait for something to change. What if that something that needs to change is you instead of all the things around you?

Some people have a tendency to wait for someone to save them from their lives. It’s that woman again waiting for her knight in shining armor to ride in on his white horse and scoop her up from her boring, underfunded, overspending life. Waiting for him to love her in-spite of her broken heart. Waiting for him to complete her. It’s that man waiting to start his real life once he finds a wife. It’s that anxious need to be loved and yes rescued from lonely nights. It’s that need to find our answers outside of ourselves instead of within. God lives on the inside of the righteous and our answers are where He is. He’s in the Word and He reveals the truth about us. So let’s get real.

Have you ever been bored and overworked and thought that if you had a (new) mate all would be well? Well, before the singles get all anxious and the couples get to switching partners and start responding to that next person who pays attention to them, listen to what’s going on with you. If there was no mate, what would you do to get yourself out of your funk? What would you do to save yourself? How real are you willing to be with you?

Maybe your prince charming wants a woman who knows how to ride alongside him. And believe me, even a capable and whole woman will need to be rescued on a bad day. There is room for romance, but I’m just saying there is room for you to take full responsibility of your life, your joy, your finances, your future and your heart. Stop holding back and waiting before you start your life; write your book, release your album, launch your new business idea, or at least improve on you by learning or doing something new like horse back riding, painting, traveling, singing . . . like worship, Word and fellowship so that God can expose your weaknesses and your strengths and heal what’s broken. So that when you find that woman she finds a whole man to love.
Let’s get to the business of really living, there is an entire world out there that is big enough for your best dream. You just get yourself ready to walk it out.

MizJAI

She’s a PRO 31.28-31 The sum of all beauty–Three Lovely Things To Say About Me

MizJAI — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 13:21:00 +0000

Even though it doesn’t look like it and even though we may feel like people ‘use’ us more than they ‘thank’ us, serve anyway with a pure heart because the day is coming when the praise will be forthright, overwhelming and uplifting. There will come a day when our children will call us blessed and happy and fortunate and they will want what we have because we love and live well (not the money stuff, the heart stuff). There will come a day when our husbands (the right ones chosen by God) will see us for who we are and say the things that let us know that they not only love us, but they see us, and respect us too.

In my eyes the sum of beauty is found in the last three verses, they are three lovely things to say about woman . . .

#1) Excellence Costs, but It Pays For Itself. He will say that many daughters have done virtuously, nobly and well, but you excel them all.

#2) The Wisdom is in the Worship. He will notice that ‘charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain, but’ you are ‘a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord’ and ‘shall be praised!’

#3) Diligences Speaks for Herself. He will notice your efforts and he will say, ‘Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates of the city!’

Remember this: being married does not make you a PRO 31 (a virtuous woman), the way that you live does. You become a PRO 31 by choice and over the course of time you demonstrate it by lifestyle.

So have at it sister.

-MizJAI

Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying], “Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well, but you excel them all. Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain, but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates of the city!” PRO 31:28-31

She’s a PRO 31.27 We Have Work To Do

MizJAI — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:58:00 +0000

When my dreams remain at the forefront of my mind, there is seldom enough room to complain or to loose focus. My life is the business of creating. I only have time to build things glorious. I only have time to fight for things worthy. I only have time to stand and create a life that matters to me and the people watching–you know the ones, the little girls and the little boys who will need some footsteps to lead the way. The PRO 31.27 does not have time for gossip and complaining and PITY, she only has time to build things that matter.

We all have those pity days where we think we are the only ones going through and we have it worst than everyone around us (well poor, lonely us). I say ‘suck it up ladies (and gentlemen)’ because it’s time to learn how to take what we have and turn it into what we want. Get your head straight so that you can walk your plan right out of your mess and into your dream. Even if you have to baby step it out, get to stepping. Pity parties shorten your stride, limit your vision, dominate your dream-focus, and you don’t have time for that. As my mother says, you only have time ‘to get that root.’ Meaning, there is a problem that only you are qualified to solve for your life, your family, your community, and your team. You have to solve it, in other words, you have to get that root. There will be all kinds of distractions, but you have to stay focused because you are assigned to get that root.

Our personal and individual struggles are real and I don’t take them lightly, but don’t you isolate your heart and allow yourself to believe that the pain and struggle is bigger than the answer because it’s not. There are women (and men) who’s husbands (and wives) are at war and they stand because they have to. There are women (and men) whose lives are turned upside down because of divorce and they are strong enough to stand up for their lives because they are able and they must. Well, if you stand there with a dream that is deferring and it is festering in your heart, then get your head together too so that you can stand for the long run, learn the lessons of this season, and walk into your destiny with a heart unscarred but strong enough to hold on to the dream that you always wanted.

Get your head together, because the PRO 31.27 has work to do, the hardest work of all,
that heart work,
that growth work,
that I can be and will be better than I am work,
that I will change and grow up work,
that I have the guts to face my fears work,
that condition my heart and steady my mind for the long haul work,
that keep me humble and keep me holy work,
that ‘I can do all things through Christ Jesus’ work.
‘All things’ is ‘all things,’
so
get your head together
because you’re a PRO
and you have work to do.

-MizJAI-

She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat. PRO 31:27 AMP

She’s a PRO 31.26 A Beautiful Tongue . . . Watch What You Say Lady

MizJAI — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 13:15:00 +0000

Do you remember going to the carnival or a street fair when you where little? Or maybe just to the ice cream truck for one of those colored icicles that left your tongue blue. When everybody saw you they knew what you just had and you didn’t care. You probably even stuck your tongue out to show them on purpose. In a lot of ways our tongue is still blue. When we open our mouth we are tagged. The words we say expose the issues of our heart. If anyone listens long enough, they can see the color on our tongue and hear who we really are. Who are you? And are you proud of her?

You choose the words, you choose the woman that you want to be.

The PRO, she opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue you find the law of kindness and instruction that you can trust and live by. But it’s easy to slip into something else altogether.

Somebody breaks your heart and you vow to never let it happen again. And you become a little harder and your words a little colder and you change in ways you never truly planned. Somebody violates your trust and you set your will to protect and attack the next time, and you become a little cunning, a little meaner. You slipped into it. Or somebody taught you to play games and told you that’s how a woman gets ahead and survives. What if the cost is a beautiful tongue and a heart that another love can trust? What if the shell that you created to protect yourself is costing you the love, the life that you truly want? What if you learned to trust God only so that you could let your guard down and make room for God to cover you instead? What if you became free again in that place in your chest that nobody feels but you? What if you let go and let God take over for real this time? Then you could be a natural and strong woman and kind, and God could be your knight in shining armor and then he can get your heart ready for that man you dream of and that destiny you desire. What if you learned to watch what you say and learned to say the words that build? What if you grew up for real this time? Who ever said it was easy? Not me, at least not yet anyway. But I did say, “it is possible.”

Your choice, your woman.

-MizJAI-
She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. PRO 31:26 AMP

She’s a PRO 31.25 She wears it well . . .

MizJAI — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 13:19:00 +0000

It’s time to get back to the She’s a PRO Series. We almost have a full picture of her, so let’s close it out.

The PRO 31.25 dresses in character, stands secure and rejoices over her tomorrows because she knows that she is ready and her family is prepared.

You know what? She does the hard the part, the things that many are afraid to do. Remember, she is the one who rises early in the morning for her ‘food.’ She takes the time to feed her own spirit, her families spirit and the spirit of her team of staff and employees. She’s the one who strengthens her body and puts in the effort of ‘considering a field and buying it.’ She does the work.

It’s not that every day after she becomes a PRO 31.25 will be easy. It’s not that everyday on the way to becoming one is easy. It’s just that she is equipped and prepared to handle it because she does the work that qualifies her to walk through the darkest night and thrive on the other side. She does the work that positions her to muster up endurance when others fall apart. Yes, and it prepares her to hold on when others let go. And because she does the work of building up her faith, her family, her finances and her physical body, then she receives her dream into he waking life and has people to share it with and health to enjoy it.

Now that’s strong.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing

“Her position is strong and secure;”

“She rejoices over the future”

because she knows she and her family are ready.

Now, let’s do the work to ready ourselves and the people around us. Even if your life comes with overwhelming assignments and responsibilities, take the baby steps everyday to ready yourself. No matter what, take the baby steps everyday to ready yourself. And take the baby steps everyday to ready your family. Teach your sons how to be true men, mentor your nieces on how to be real women, help your parents to structure their retirement. Family preparation is service and a challenge, but it is apart of her (the PRO 31.25) joy.

Get ready.

-MizJAI-

Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]! PRO 31:25 AMP

She’s a PRO 31:21

MizJAI — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 13:57:00 +0000

She’s ready. The PRO is prepared for the worse but expecting the best out of life. She is ready to move, ready to take action, ready to show love, ready to extend grace, ready to hold her ground. Not only that but she takes the time to prepare the people around her. So yes, when the snow comes she has no worries because their needs are stored up for ‘such a time as this.’ In many ways adversity is a chance to stretch her wings, to use what she knows and to grow. She’s human and prefers pleasure to pain, but when challenges arise, deep inside, she knows that she is capable of facing it and thriving on the other side. It is paramount that we understand that she has also taken the time to ensure that the people around her can weather the storm with the same grace.

The Woman of Excellence is a teacher and mother by nature, always imparting precious and powerful things/tools/knowledge into people. Now, before your roll your eyes (you ladies who feel you don’t have a mothering instinct) or rush off and start imitating your grandmother (you ladies who are every ready to take care of somebody), you better hold up and learn how to do you.

EXERCISE. It is a simple action that allows you to walk in this kind of grace. Sit down and think for a minute. What do you know that other people in your inner circle do not? What information could you share to help your family “be ready.” It doesn’t matter who you are. If you are the youngest child or the mother, there is probably something that you discovered that could benefit somebody else in your family. Begin to look for the perfect opportunity to share it with them, because timing and delivery is everything. By now you’ve noticed that the majority of our exercises are mental. That’s because this is the place where our lives begin–with thoughts. If we can learn to shape what happens in our minds, then we can become like our Father and shape our world with the right words, the kind of words that bring life and light.

The PRO trains herself to consider life, every aspect in it and the people around her. She takes pleasure in preparing herself. She reaps the benefit right in the middle of chaos, because she has prepared herself and her family to find the calm no matter what. As my dad says, “There is an anointing in the preparation.”

So hop to it ladies, we have a beautiful life to lead, no matter the problems that come our way.

I know that we have been working on the internal things for weeks now, but let’s she how fashion plays into being a PRO . . .

-MizJAI-

She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet. Proverbs 31:21 AMP

She’s a PRO 31:18, Part A

MizJAI — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:38:00 +0000

An ever burning candle is prepared to give light, especially in the dead of night. But there is a difference between readiness, and burning your candle at both ends all day long. We often live our lives on burn out. The average American (or any person who adopts our way of life) lives at high adrenaline, stretched-out, attempting to pack 7 days into 1. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with productivity but balance and wisdom are required as well.

Everybody needs to rest, and reset for a new moment, a new day. But there is something to the PRO, she works smart and rests well. She doesn’t waste time with busy work for the sake of work. She’s not the one attempting to look important by always being in a hurry. She’s often the calm lady that you could miss in the corner who has figured out a smarter, easier and more efficient (and righteous) way to get it done. So that when the true emergencies come, she has the reserve energy to meet them head on.

A woman who doesn’t plan, creates emergencies out of simple things.

EXERCISE. Are you the type of woman who has your team or your family or yourself on high alert as you approach (almost) every deadline, simply because you forget (or refuse) to do it early or on time? Your exercise is a questionnaire . . .

Why do you wait till the last minute?

a) your forget

b) it just doesn’t feel important until then

c) you hope it will go away if you wait long enough

d) all of the above

e) a & b

When you are working on a tight deadline how do you feel?

a) exhilarated, it’s exciting to you

b) your stomach hurts, you can’t believe it’s another deadline

c) sleepy, you just can’t do it again

d) like you need to clean the house and the entire office first, distracted

e) overwhelmed, so you do nothing or you do something that you already know that you can do well like d above, you clean the house, etc.

Now that you understand yourself more, let’s try to make your work more empowering. Waiting till the last minute puts the assignment in charge, instead of you in charge of the work. Because last minute deadlines hijack your time and focus. There are a few things you can do:

INSPIRE YOURSELF to an EARLY DEADLINE

If you like the exhilaration and the pressure, then create a self induced deadline of your own. Maybe you want to get off work early on Friday and take your daughter to the park. The report isn’t due to your supervisor until Monday at 2:00 PM. Make your personal deadline Friday at noon, when you finish it, then you leave work early, if you don’t then you stay. But the thing that you want to do with your time has to be important to you, otherwise you will just push the time back anyway and still end up with last minute or late work.

TURN THE ASSIGNMENT into BITE-SIZED TASKS

If you are the type who is overwhelmed by long lasting responsibilities; you know the kind of task that I’m talking about–it takes a weeks or months to complete. Well, you don’t have to keep pulling out the fairy dust and hoping to become invisible in order to avoid it. Tackle it one little bit at a time. The day you receive the assignment, sit down and type out/write out the assignment’s objectives and mission. In other words, What is the task that you have (get) to do? Why do you need to do it? With that simple step you are on your way. Then you write down what you think your first step should be. As your mind begins to click, a-lot of other things that need to be done will come to you, write those down as well. You may have written that list in a frenzy; now, take the time to type it out so that you can look at it and tweak it for tomorrow. Remember, the PRO receives help. You taking this time to plan will allow you to tackle the job with excellence and will open your eyes to the areas where you can receive help. This is an exercise in baby steps. The Pros use it all the time.

WAKE-UP and SMELL the TEECCINO

We’re grown women now. Sometimes things just happen, but chronic procrastinating demonstrates that time controls you and/or that you may have very little respect for the people who have to help you ‘get it done.’ It’s just something we have to master, if we intend to be more than we are today. Of course, we always have the option of staying the same and staying where we are. Nobody is forcing us to do anything that we don’t want to do, because we are grown women. But I can tell you this, the bad habits that we are unwilling to address will force us out of the places we have been trying to get into.

A woman of excellence sees that the gain from her labor is worth it. Her candle burns continually because she is prepared, but she has also found a way for that candle to burn even while she sleeps . . .

-MizJAI-

She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust]. Proverbs 31:18 AMP

She’s a PRO 31:17

MizJAI — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 12:43:00 +0000

What good are our dreams coming to the fore front of our lives, if we’re in no shape to handle them when they arrive? A woman of excellence prepares herself with strength. She gets her mind ready to live the dream by practicing being what she says she is. She rehearses it in her head until she believes it. Then, she begins to be it, even when no one else can see it. So you say you’re an artist, then act like it. Remember our saying, ‘painters paint, writers writer, dancers dance’ and so on . . .

But not only your mind, the woman of excellence gets her spirit right too. She dances in the presence of God, writes to the rhythm of His love, each stroke is to His credit, each line to His glory. She simply spends time with Him so that what she does is beautiful and sincere everyday.

And lastly, the woman of excellence strengthens her body. She is not the one who lets it fall where it may. She shapes her temple with exercise on purpose. There I said it. It’s time to get your tennis shoes out and hit the gym (again), the court, the track–whatever you prefer, but it’s time to get to it sister. And yes it’s scripture for you to strengthen yourself (quoted below for your convenience). Keep it Simple & Sweet though, becoming Ms. Olympia (bodybuilding competition) is not your goal. But being strong enough and healthy enough and cute too as you live your dream in style is the goal. So get to moving . . .

EXERCISE. Add something new to your routine. What do you say that you are? Let’s take dancer for example. What do you think a dancer would do first thing in the morning? Google and find out. Search the name of some dancer you admire or dancers in general and discover their routine. Pick one thing out of it that resonates with you and add it to your schedule. Do they stretch for 15 minutes upon rising? Do they dance to there favorite song at the end of each work day? Choose the thing that you think will make you better at being who you say you are, and then do it for at least 10 days. Then if it doesn’t work for you or it’s not causing improvement, you can try something different. Just be sure to add to your life (wisely) because it strengthens you for the dream.

A woman of excellence makes herself strong, one decision at a time. Choose like your life depends it because it does, and get ready for an ever burning candle . . .

-MizJAI-

She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. Proverbs 31:17 AMP

She’s a PRO 31:16

MizJAI — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 12:17:00 +0000

It was Saturday morning and Jewel had the day to herself. Her friend, Susan, and fellow mother, was taking the kids for the day. As Jewel stepped out the door, she thought, “I love our Saturday trades.” One Saturday out of the month they take each others kids. It gives the other mother a day to herself to do whatever she wants. And today Jewel wanted to go shopping and meet her husband for a lunch date the way they did when they where dating and maybe catch a matinee. It was Saturday and she had the day. But first things first: It’s time to find a deal.

She headed straight to her favorite neighborhood. She drove by it often with the kids and had at least two places that she wanted to check out. Today was an open house just for her and she was ready to see what it looked like on the inside. She wished Jonathan was with her but he needed some down time, so she didn’t bother him. Besides he trusts her to “narrow the field.” That’s how they do what they do, together. She was excited to get to her sale, but as she met the selling agent at the door, Jewel put on her poker face and went in to the old run down house in the middle of a beautiful neighborhood and began to make mental notes to share with her husband. They where in the market for their first rental properties and she was on the hunt. The cash-flow from this house was going into a fund for their daughters’ college education, so choosing the right house in the right neighborhood (rentable) for the right price mattered. Armed with all her research she was ready to go shopping . . .

Loving God is the beginning of a beautiful life. But that’s not all there is too it. We actually have to live on this side of heaven and we can do that living any way that we want. We can live it with the best of things, the worst of things, and/or any where in between. It is our choice and we choose by the skills we are willing to learn and the actions we are willing to take.

I am sure that you noticed in She’s a PRO 31:15, that the virtuous woman had a staff of people to help her run her house. She probably had maids, a cook, a gardner and so on. In our modern world the help we need depends on the size and the outcome of our dreams. If your desire is a cottage for two and a powerful internet connection to build your online business, then your team may only consist of techies (that you never meet because you communicate online) to do the functions that you don’t know how to do. Maybe they will build your website or make sure that it is properly advertised in order to let people know you are here or design your company’s logo, etc. Regardless of the task that you choose to receive help on, they are a part of your team that need your direction in order to help you run your online house, excuse me, I mean business. Do you get the picture?

In other words, you don’t need maids and a gardner and housekeepers for the cottage. It’s small enough and cute enough and you love it, so you’ve got that on lock. But you do need help to develop your business. So that’s the team that you assemble and guide like the PRO 31:15.

“But how in the world can the virtuous woman or anyone else for that matter afford to have help, when I have to do everything on my own?” You ask. Well, it’s shaped by our thoughts. Are you the kind of person who plans her day solely around what she can get done in a day? I used to be that person, as the average woman is, but it’s limiting (and who ever said we where trying to be average?). When we learn to think in terms of team and support, we can conquer the world or at least industry. For certain, we can get a handle on our homes and family. But it takes a different way of thinking and planning.

The PRO ‘expands prudently’ without neglecting her most basic responsibilities. But she does expand. She reaches out for more exciting experiences, more exciting business ventures, more exciting journeys with the people she loves the most. We can have our best dreams with Wisdom, faith and planning. Consider Jewel in the story above who was going shopping for real estate Saturday morning. She was definitely thinking outside the box. Plus it’s Biblical, the woman of excellence ‘considers a new field before she buys and accepts it.’ Jewel spent her Saturday morning considering a field, and that’s what I call savvy. What fields have you considered lately? It could be real estate and/or a business idea. Maybe you have an idea inside of you. There are lots of ways to live the dream and it doesn’t always require hard labor from you. I’m just saying, it’s ok to just think about it at least and let your mind expand (a little).

Hmmm, interesting.

EXERCISE. You already have your exercise for today: consider a field in any area of life that interest you. If you really get to thinking that you can do this, then order a book (audio or print) on the subject and read it. You never know where you may end up. But I will tell you this, planning your future with faith and a strategy is far more exciting than just wandering through the rest of your life.

Remember, a woman of excellence lives it. When your man meets you, you should already be a women of excellence and not waiting for marriage in order to become one. Life is now, so get to living well. And ladies, let’s get ready for strength . . .

-MizJAI-

She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. Proverbs 31:16 AMP

She’s a PRO 31:15

MizJAI — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 12:29:00 +0000

First things first, I need my time with God so that He can refuel me with His word. Each day holds new challenges and responsibilities. And sometimes the weight of the day before attaches itself to us so strong that it joins us in our sleep and wakes with us the next morning. It is painful to live a new day with old baggage.

I need my time with God everyday. If I neglect this time, the relationship suffers, and I don’t want that. Any relationship suffers without consistency and intimacy. My relationship with God is no different. So I rise early in the morning to read His word, to whisper my prayers, to hear His voice, to sit still for minute and let the day in slowly.

The woman of excellence practices being excellent for a lifetime. If we don’t train ourselves to do the things that renew our private lives and refresh our personal thoughts and calm our own spirits, then how will we have anything to give anyone else in the not-so-distant future. The PRO 31:15 rises early in the morning and provides spiritual food for her household. She prepares the words that will frame and shape their day. My mother did it. We awoke and 15 minutes before we left for the bus, we had Bible study every weekday morning. We practiced reading out loud and digging for treasures in the Word. She taught me how to shape my day. As a woman I still follow the same process: Word first, now face the day.

After her diligence with the word comes her diligence with the business of the house. When the ladies on her team arise for the day, she has word for them and assignments. She’s a prepared leader, who understands the basics of diligence:

God first (it shapes your attitude and can greatly elevate your kindness meter)
Preparation is crucial (you do your part by getting ready, God will do His by blessing your efforts)
Don’t waist time (time costs, so put it to great use. If you have 10 people waiting around to help you and they have been waiting for 10 minutes for you, well you have just wasted 1 hour and 40 minutes. Time matters, so use it wisely).

EXERCISE: If you are the kind that bolts up and out of your bed as soon as the alarm rings, I want you try something different for tomorrow morning: set your alarm 10 minutes earlier than usual, put your Bible beside your bed. Maybe you are traveling and don’t have one with you, then go to BibleGateway.com online and choose the version you want to read (I like the Amplified) and get to reading, but practice going to the site at night, so that it will be quick for you in the morning. When you bolt out of the bed at full speed, grab your Bible and head for the nearest (or your favorite) window, open the curtains and read at least one scripture (Psalms 139:14), take at least one deep breath, whisper at least one little prayer (thank You for my life). Smile because you are woman enough for this day, and then dive into the business of living (as my sister says).

The PRO learns to face her life boldly and diligently, one day at a time. But not only that she’s savvy . . . and I don’t mean the sales we can find on clothes at warehouses and the mall, it’s more to being savvy than that . . .

-MizJAI-

She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks. Proverbs 31:15 AMP