LOVE & Other Four Letter Words! Part 4 – Four Things to Look For When You Are Searching For An Outstanding Love

Do you remember being in elementary or middle school and having your first crush?  I do. I was in the first grade and his smile just made my day.  I hardly knew anything about him but I knew I wanted to be in the room when he was there.  That crush turned into my first boyfriend and my first break up when my mother informed me that I could not date until I was 16 years old.

It’s funny how we use a word that means – to break, pound, or grind into small fragments or powder, as the word for our budding affections and desires for another person.  Because, if it doesn’t go as  planned isn’t that how we feel – crushed, broken and pounded into small fragments of what could have been.  My little crush was the elementary mini-nightmare that would not quit as he flunked the first grade so many times that he took the class with both of my baby sisters and hit on each of them.   Time is a gift though.  She reveals the wisdom or the foolishness of our decisions.  And let’s face it, we have been known to be the “dumbest” when it comes to love or our interpretation of it.

We search for love outside of God and then wonder why it often falls a part. We sit there trying to “love“ each other without learning how the other person sees love without discovering the actions that show them real love without constantly growing in love. We use the same love tactics from our past and it creates the same mess we have always had. It’s difficult because most of us are kind people with great qualities and one area that keeps causing us a problem over and over again.

Maybe you are the ultimate gift giver but you find yourself desiring a man who is mainly impressed by your discipline and your drive . So, you shower him with gifts and trinkets and neglect yourself and your dreams. And it unravels and it seems like it should have worked but it didn’t because you were never speaking the same language. And so we’ve created one more messy relationship after another.

Well, I finally discovered that love is more than what I feel. Love has a certain nature and behavior that we can count on, and this reality makes discovering her and choosing her much easier. So yes, he makes you tingle on the inside and she makes you smile when you are trying to be cool but these other things should be present too or you are well advised to ”hold up a minute“ to see exactly what or who you are truly dealing with – Like, Luck, Lust, Lazy or Real Love.

4 Things To Look For When You Are Looking For An Outstanding Love (or 4 Things I Discovered by Watching My Mother & Reading the Word)

1. Look for patient endurance instead of anxiousness. Love stands the test of time and never gives up. There is a hope on the inside of love that simply cannot die. Love is strong instead of weak and wimpy. In fact, it’s strong enough to last. Love never fails or fades out or comes to an end. Real lasting love is uncommon in many relationships. It’s the journey and the reward for the ones who put the work in and it’s worth discovering and waiting and praying and preparing for.
2. Look for an uncommon kindness instead an easy rudeness and mean nature. Mean people eventually spread the hate to everyone around them, so be careful. Especially be aware of the passive aggressive because once angered or upset their payback can be very subtle, consistent and painful.
3. Look for humility instead of pride, arrogance, jealousy and envy. Be careful of the person that has that jealous bone. You never know when it will turn on you. You don’t want a relationship riddled with unhealthy competition.
4. Look for truth. In other words, look for that person who does what is right and is excited when the right things happen. This is when character shows up. Discover who this person really is under pressure. Are they truly kind, do they really love God, do they value people, etc. My mom says that dad always stood up for the underdog and that impressed her consistently, even during the tough times.

It’s easy to get swept away with romance and smooth talk. Shoot! Dating and weddings are fun, they are the party and excitement phases of the relationship (this I know). But marriage and abiding love and true understanding is a process with unimaginable rewards (so they tell me). As stated above, this is taken from my mother and 1 Cor 13: 4-8. Check it out for yourself.

Hope you enjoyed these little love lessons. See you next week for a simple remember that is simply exciting.

MizJAI…evaluating herself to make sure that she lives love

Tagged as: love